one_minute_meelee_fanonfandomcom-20200214-history
Rick Sanchez Vs Darth Maul
Rick Sanchez of Rick and Morty (Nominated by Quantonaut) takes on Darth Maul of Star Wars (Nominated by MP999) Intro Rick is walking through the maze holding on to an unusual gadget with a massive satellite dish. As he walks, a light on the gadget continues to blink red. Rick: Just as I suspected. I’m hoplessly lost. When we get out of here, Morty, remind me to program the GPS with the coordinates of any parallel dimensions we can find. He looks down, and realizes that he’s alone. Rick: Oh, right. Shit, I don’t trust you driving my ship alone! Reaching into his pocket, he takes out a set of keys and hits the lock button. Rick: I guess this is the way the news goes. Suddenly, a lightsaber blade pierces the wall behind him, barely missing him. Rick rolls (badum tss) to the other side of the maze hall and assumes a ridiculous kung-fu stance, while a circle is cut in the wall and Darth Maul steps through. Rick: Well, someone’s horny. Nice glowy stick there bud, mind if I have it? Rick pulls out a giant magnet from his coat and zaps Maul’s lightsaber with it, but halfway to Rick, Maul uses the force to retrieve it and crush Rick’s device. Rick: What the shit was that? Maul: Don’t underestimate the power of the dark side. Rick: Well, looks like someone went black and never went back. Speaking of not going back, I do plan on going back, so do me a favour and kill yourself so I can leave. (Queue Duel of the Fates, 1:00-1:05) Maul, now angered, picks up Rick with a force choke. Rick (struggling to speak): Oh geez. FIGHT!!! (Continue Duel of the Fates, 1:05-2:05) 60 Maul runs up to the levitating Rick and impales him with extreme prejudice using his lightsaber. However, it seems as if the blade only phases through Rick, who then gives him the finger. Rick: Surprise, asshole! Maul can only partly turn around before he is hit in the head with a frying pan by the real Rick; the hologram copy fades away. Rick then takes out a futuristic pistol and fires multiple lasers at Maul, who deflects them with his lighsaber. Baring his teeth at Rick, Maul activates his other blade. 51 Rick: Two laser blades? Geez, were you dreamt up by George Lucas or something? I got double weaponry too, ya know! Rick takes out another gun and fires even more bullets at Maul, but the Sith apprentice spins his lightsaber and deflects every shot back at Rick. Rick can only barely duck as one of his shots skims his hair. 45 Rick: Hey! That’s it, death ray time! Taking out a different gun, Rick prepares to reduce Maul to ash, but the gun frizzes up and coughs out smoke. Rick: God dammit... Before he can finish complaining, Maul uses a force leap to kick him far down the hall, and then picks him up with the force while repeatedly smashing him into the walls. Rick: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Can. You. Stop. This. Please. Ass. Hole?! 32 Rick fires a tazer at Maul, stunning him momentarily, but it’s enough time for Rick to fire a small gun and open up a pocket dimension and fish inside it. Maul recovers and is hit by a massive burst of energy that sends him flying through multiple walls. Rick is now inside a massive mecha battlesuit, equipped with large cannons. 25 Rick: And that’s the way the news goes! Sayonara! Rick fires a gattling gun at Maul, who runs ahead of the raining lasers using his force speed. Switching tactics, Rick loads a pocket-sized Neutrino bomb into his cannon and fires it at Maul. The explosion is powerful, and Maul uses the force to contain the blast to a ball in front of him. As he struggles to restrain the bomb, Rick charges through and punches Maul, before grabbing him and holding him up with the suit’s arm. 13 Rick: Any last words? Maul spits at Rick and activates his lightsaber, impaling the suit. Rick gasps, but it is then shown that the lightsaber missed Rick completely. Rick: MY MINIBAR!!! Alright, now you’re a dead man! Throwing Maul to the ground, the Mech suit falls on top of him. Rick grabs Maul’s lightsaber and hits a button to eject from the suit before it explodes, leaving a critically injured Maul on the ground. Rick now stands above Maul with his lightsaber. 5 Rick: Yeah, listen, I’m gonna need you to take this space sword... and shove it waaaaay up your butthole! Rick stabs Maul’s groin area, but the Sith only grunts in pain. His robes fall open to reveal his robotic legs. 1 Rick: What? You don’t have a b... Rick is cut off mid sentence as Maul has reached out and activated his saber’s second blade, impaling Rick through the face. K.O!!! (Queue Anakin's Dark Deeds, 0:00-0:20) Maul retracts his blade, sits up and reaches out with his hand. From far away, his speeder Bloodfin returns to him. He gets on and rides away, leaving the corpse of the scientist behind. Aftershock Mystery figure: Well, that was certainly interesting. For someone who didn’t really belong here, that old man put up a great fight. But, this melee’s winner is Darth Maul... by Death. Results Winning Combatant votes: *Rick: 15 *Maul: 15 Tiebreaker: Rick and Morty really isn't that funny tbh. Maul is a badass, and the fewer joke characters make it through, the better. Maul. -MP999 Winning Method Votes: *Death: 13 *KO: 2 Follow Maul's path here See the tournament's main page here Category:Mob Rule Tournament 1 Category:MP999 Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees